Inclusion - What you say next

Inclusion Starts with a Conversation:

What You Say Next Could Make the Biggest Difference

When Do You Know It’s Time to Say Something?

Some conversations that we face in the early childhood sector can feel a bit trickier than others, particularly when you have noticed something about a child that may suggest they would benefit from additional support.

Perhaps you’ve noticed some of these things:

· The child's language is not developing in the way you would expect,

· The child hasn’t yet reached those physical development milestones as you’d expect

· The child's emotions are dysregulated

· The child's connections with other children are limited

· Transitions are tricky to manage

· The child is not participating in parts of the day.

You have observed what is happening, you’ve reflected on it and made changes; including to the environment and your practice, but the feeling remains, more support may be helpful. You know the next step is to talk to their family, but if you don’t get this right, it could cause a rupture in the relationship.

Remember, This Is Their Child - Their Whole World

For me, this is one of those moments where our relationships with families really matter, because we might be the first person who has ever said anything, and that can have a huge impact on that family. We need to acknowledge and understand the gravity of this conversation for the family.

Whilst we work with many children and come with background knowledge about child development, and know that accessing additional support can be incredibly positive, parents might not always share that same perspective.

Because this isn't just a child to the person standing in front of us. This is their child, their entire world and more. They might never have considered that their child could need some additional support. They might have noticed something themselves but hoped it would resolve with time, or they simply may not see what we’re seeing.

That doesn't mean they are unwilling to listen or that they do not care about their child. They may need time to understand what you are sharing and work out what it means for their family.

Our job in that first conversation isn't necessarily to convince them of anything. It is to open the door to an honest conversation and make it clear that you are there to work alongside them.

The First Conversation Doesn’t Need to Solve Everything

It might sound something like:

"I've noticed Jack is finding it a little tricky sometimes to get his words out when he's trying to tell us something. Have you noticed anything like that at home?"

Then give them the opportunity to respond.

There is no need to diagnose, present a list of every concern or immediately tell them which professionals they need to see. The first conversation can simply be a way of sharing what you have noticed, hearing the family's perspective and beginning to think together about what might help.

I often think of these conversations as a bit of a drip feed over time. This isn’t the moment, time or place for a big overwhelming conversation. All we need to do is share what we're noticing, give families space to process it, maintain the relationship and continue talking about all of the wonderful things their child is doing as well.

Give Families Time To Process

That conversation has opened a doorway for more. It’s the start of building some momentum that may truly make a difference.

Even if the parent appears closed off to the idea, that may just be their own protective response. The conversation has started and, over time, it can be returned to.

A family not acting after the first conversation doesn't necessarily mean they're ignoring you or don't care. They may simply not be ready to hear or see what you’re seeing yet.

We can be both consistent in our messaging and compassionate about all the family are feeling. We can advocate for the child and understand the parent, and over time, help to advocate for and support the family as a whole unit too.

The biggest and most important thing you can do is maintain that relationship with the family. Then, if the time comes when the parent wants to hear more, we're still here.

Having a Conversation Isn’t Giving a Diagnosis

Often when I’m discussing with educators the importance of having these conversations, they tell me they hesitate beforehand, because they're worried about raising something too early, or sometimes they don’t feel ‘professional enough’ to have these conversations, and they overthink questions like:

·What if they grow out of it?

·What if the family gets upset?

·What if I'm wrong?

Here’s what I’ve learned over the years: a conversation isn't giving a diagnosis. You're not saying, "There is something wrong with your child." You're saying, "I've noticed something, I care about your child, and I think it's worth us talking about." There is a significant difference between these two conversations, and you don’t need to have all the answers to start the second one.

When we approach these conversations with genuine care, curiosity and respect, we have an incredible opportunity. You might just be the person who starts a process that changes the trajectory of a child's life.

That's a privilege, one that takes bravery, but one I hold close to my heart when I think back on my career so far, knowing how many children my teams and I have made a difference to.

These conversations matter. That can be the beginning of a child receiving the understanding, support or opportunities you need. What you say, and how you deliver it, could change everything.

Protect the Relationship

Having that first conversation with a family can feel uncomfortable, but try to re-frame it from being something that feels negative. Keep telling them about their child's strengths and the things that make you smile. Make sure they know that you're raising this because you care deeply about their child, not because their child is a problem or there is something that needs fixing.

Remember that leadership in early childhood isn't about always having the answer. Sometimes it is noticing what is happening and being willing to take action, and sometimes it is about connecting people and supporting them through this chapter in their lives.

Other times, it is simply being brave enough to be the first person who says, "I've noticed this too. Let's work through it together."

Supporting Your Team To Build Confidence In Inclusive Practice

At HGT EDU, we provide practical professional development for early learning teams wanting to strengthen inclusive practice, confidence and meaningful participation.

Our aim is to support teams to feel confident having these difficult conversations, and to add strategies to their toolkit to support every child in their service.

If this sounds like something your service would like support with, pick one of the pathways below.